The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
