Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
