so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do vagina's smell?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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