I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize