Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
