I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
