this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
