It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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