Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
