Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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