Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
