Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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