how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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