this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
