chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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