Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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