we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
