Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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