After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
