is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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