My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
