so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
