i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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