Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
