Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
