turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize