Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
