I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
