bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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