i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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