He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
