If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
