Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
