Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
