$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
