Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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