she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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