She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
