so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drunk is not a location!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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