Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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