best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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