Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
