great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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