I wish I could punch you in the face.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
