Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
