Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
