that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
