yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i will never coherently bang her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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