whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
