It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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