I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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