Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
