is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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