I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
