just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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