So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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