i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
