I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize