the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
