Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
