Just fell off a train. Bad.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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