I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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