Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
