I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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