we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
