Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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