Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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