Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
